Sono mono 201

Yeah, we are on the final countdown towards the end of the novel so let’s get hyped everyone!!

Thank you for all your comments and feedback!!

Now enjoy the oldest question of humanity.

Original: 君は何派?

Chapter 201 – What faction are you?

The next day after cleaning up the bonfire, we head towards the Port City Motampe.
I’ll mantain the status quo with the thing about Freud and I’ll blame his lack of common sense on him being a former god. I will also not pay attention at what Freud said later…

We crossed the plain in between the Imperial Capital Iscoa and the Port City Motampe and we find two men on each side of the road that leads into the forest.
While humming, they seem to be thinking about something.
From their looks they seem to be bandits without a doubt but, I can’t understand the reason of why are they in this open space where they can be seen from everywhere.
I also thought that their companions might be hidden inside the forest but, thinking about the distance from here to the forest it’s quite long so that even normal people might have enough room to escape without trouble.
And so looking at them like that I wonder if they are really troubled by something.
But they’re still bandits so I can let my guard down.

Just to be safe, we rise our awareness and at that moment, they notice us.

“… Ah, what the hell are you lassies doing? We are talking about somethin’ important right now so we won’t attack you, now get going!!”
“No, wait. I thought they were only women but there seem to be men to. And two of them. Let’s ask them too!!”
“Ah!! That’s good!! With just us two, we won’t get anywhere!! Hey you punks!! The two men come here!! The women stay there and don’t move!!”

The two bandits say that while signaling with their fingers for Freud and me to go there.
I exchange sights with Freud.

“… What do we do?”
“I think that whatever Wazu-sama decides to do is fine but; well, let’s see… As long as it doesn’t causes any trouble to the madames, there will be no problem in hearing them out. I don’t think they can hurt us…”

I feel unsettled at Freud’s affirmative answer.
I get the feeling that it’ll be something troublesome… Or more like bothersome…
But, as Freud said, the only ones capable of hurting us might be just the Evil God and in extension, Shiro or the Goddess of Darkness.

“… So be it. I’m actually curious about what are they worring about with such serious faces, and if it comes to it, I can just send them flying.”

I tell the girls not to get close and entrust them Meru.
I also told them to fight back if they need to, just in case.
And so, together with Freud, I get close to the bandits.

“Good, you came. And you also left the women over there. This is a talk that can’t be heard by women…”
“So what is it that you want to ask of us?”

The two bandits put on serious faces and prepare to talk.
If it’s something suspicious or if it’s something troublesome for people, I’ll send them flying…

“Yeah, actually…

 

Are you of the briefs faction or the trunks faction?”

 

 

 

… Haa!!
I blanked out for a moment.
I can’t take on some information that I don’t want to understand.
What is this guy saying? Is he sane?
Why did it abruptly turn into underwear talk?
As it is a pain in the ass, I’ll hit them and get this over with.

“… I see.”

When I’m about to hit them, I heard a voice of understanding from besides me.
Of course, the one besides me is Freud.
When I turn to look besides me, I see Freud meditating with his eyes closed while assenting with his head.

“That’s a theme that has worried the men for ages.”

… Eh? Is that so? Is that something so deep?
I open my eyes wide to Freud’s statement.
No matter how you look at it, it’s a worthless topic, right?
Why do you have to dig so deeply into it?

“Oh? From your face I can tell that Wazu-sama has yet to grasp the true importance of this. Listen well, briefs are underwear that give you a sence of security similar as to when you were in the womb of your mother just from their embracing disposition, trunks on the other side are underwear that appear at your teens and stay with you till adulthood but they hide some peril all the same. They are the two greatest underwear. In other words, it’s no exaggeration say that these two great underwear represent the soul of all of the men in the world. And thus, to know which is more popular, which one surpasses which… that’s been the eternal struggle!! The ultimate two pieces of clothes!! … But seeing that you don’t understand that… Does it mean that Wazu-sama is from the brief’s faction?”
“N-No, you’re wrong!! I’m using trunks!!”

He asked me so suddenly that I got disturbed.
The two bandits for some reason start nodding in agreement to Freud’s rant, but the moment I said what I was wearing, one of them got wrapped in elation while the other one looks like he’s going to cry.

“Yeah~!!”
“How can it be…!!”

I look at them with cold eyes.
Is that something to be so happy and sad at the same time?
When I was thinking that whichever was fine…

“By the way, I’m also from the trunk’s faction.”

Freud says that while bowing elegantly and then the one that got happy got even more so that he looked like he wanted to jump, while the other one sinks his head on the ground while groaning.
Seriously, who cares!!
I mean, it’s just underwear, right? You just wear it and that’s the end of it, isn’t it?
The happy bandit look so glad that it seemed that he wanted to come hug us, but he refrained from it.

“… So, what was this all about?”
“It means that in this place, the trunks faction is stronger.”
“My thoughts exactly!!”

Don’t make me a comrade as you please!! Even though I’m wearing the same underwear!!

“Like I said, what’s the meaning of it anyway.”
“You don’t have to think of it, just feel it.”

… I don’t feel anything though…
While I was giving disgusted lookings to Freud and the happy bandit, a man appears from the woods and comes close to where we are. I thought that he was a comrade of the bandits and that this stupid talk was actually a trap so I got my guard up but, I realized that I needed to put my guard up against him for another reason.
The man had scars everywhere and had the appearance of a real bandit, on his upper body he was wearing some dirty clothes but even over his clothes you could tell that he had a muscular body.
… But, on his lower body he was wearing just a piece of black pants, and those black pants had just enought fabric to barely hide the important places… Sorry, I don’t want to look at you in the eyes…

“Good grief… Breifs this, trunks that, how long are you going to keep discussing childish stuff?”

The impudent words of the man reach us and the two bandits straighten themselves and Freud shows an amazed expression.

“”Ossu!! Speedo-sempai!!””
“T-Those are!! Speedos!! He is splendidly wearing the one underwear that are like a medal for men… I can do it… I can do it, Wazu-sama… I have to prepare myself…”

I want you to tell me what is it that you can do.
I’m sorry. Actually, I don’t want to really know.

“Come on, leave those bastards alone and let’s go!!”
“”Ossu!!””

And like that, the three bandits disappear into the woods…

The whole time I had no idea what was that all about but Freud was still groaning.
Let’s leave him alone.

I return to where the girls are but…

“””… Trunks.”””

They are concentrating on my lower half. Please stop what you are thinking!!


Author’s notes: Besides them, there is a “Fundoshi-daisempai*” and a “Boxers-kouhai*” m(__)m

(T/N: Daisempai can be easily translatade as ‘great sempai’ but I wanted to leave it as a sufix so ‘great’ didn’t work. And I believe that you already know but, kouhai is the opposite of sempai)

 

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